Learning how the buses work is an important skill while traveling in Nicaragua. After much thought, trial and questioning I have learned that there really are no rules. Not one..Except maybe learn to breath through your mouth. A bus ride usually goes something like this...
1. Find a busy street and stand in the dirt near enough to read the destination of passing buses but far away enough not to get hit with rocks kicked up by speeding motorcycles.
2. Carefully examine each bus that passes in order to determine its destination. One way to do this is to decipher the name of the bus, usually written in old english, somewhere near the name will be the town name. Another way to do this is to attempt to make out the words being shouted by a boy hanging out the bus door, it usually sounds like this ...moyogalpamoyogalpamoyogalpa... Attempt to do this before the bus passes to avoid chasing after in a cloud of exhaust.
3. Once you have found the correct bus wave your arms wildly and hope it stops. Sometimes they do, your bag is grabbed from you and lifted up to the arms of a boy who has been riding on the roof. Sometimes they only slow down as you run in your flipflops and reach for the arms of the boy at the door, hoping he can pull you in before the nearing street sign hits you in the face. Sometimes if the bus is at capacity...a word that doesnt really mean anything...you can ride on the roof and duck under power lines.
4. Good job you made it on board. Now try to squeeze past the crowd and head towards the back. There is a three plus person to a seat norm. You are lucky if you get both butt cheeks on a seat. Usually you have to stand, swaying around while one hand grasps at the center pole above your head. You will probably be sandwiched between a bucket of fertilizer, a bag of manure, a woman in heels carrying a baby and a man with a bag of live chickens digging into your side. Your head will also be nestled nicely in an armpit.
5. Grin and bear it. Usually some bad club music is blasting. I usually close my eyes and pretend Im at a party..a really smelly, dusty party.
6. Pay the man that comes pushing through the crowd. It costs about a dollar.
7. When the bus stops vendors push their way on the bus with fried chicken, bread, sodas, bags of produce and basically anything you could ever want.You could probably buy anything you ever need if you ride the bus long enough.
8. Sometimes there is a shared water container...sometimes this water is being passed around in an empty engine coolant container. Drink at your own risk.
9. If you choose to ride on the top, find your spot between the thousands of pounds of grain sacks. Its probably more comfortable than sitting on a pile of wood. Also, watch for power lines. Expect to be covered in dust.
10. Sometimes the bus stops while crossing creeks in order for a man with a bucket to douse the overheating engine with water.
11. Congrats you made it. Now push your way off the bus before it starts leaving. Find a new spot on this road to flag down your next ride.
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